At the moment, I'm enjoying watching the series 'Once Upon a Time' where a collection of fairytale characters find themselves in our world. Currently Elsa and Anna off 'Frozen' are big in the storyline. As I think is the case in 'Frozen' itself (I did eventually give in and watch it last year but I remember remarkably little), Elsa struggles to control her magic. In fact, it seems that times of strong emotion result in Elsa causing damage, without trying. She is considered dangerous: a monster. Others feel the need to be wary of her and she feels isolated and quite the outcast.
This has really struck me due to my recent diagnosis of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (aka Borderline Personality Disorder). I'm still not entirely convinced what this is and I'm rather unsure as to whether the diagnosis is correct, but being told that this is my problem has not been easy.
There's a lot that could be said about all this but today I will focus on other people's reactions. I am thankful for a few friends who still see me as Laura: someone who struggles but ultimately is still a person, capable of good and bad, and loved by God. Unfortunately, however, not everybody has been so lovely. I am prepared to accept that I probably project my feelings and worries onto some of my friends and decide that they are giving me a wide berth even if they aren't. But there are some people in my life who are now treating me as highly dangerous. They seem to have decided I'm a monster. I feel like an outcast, someone who might cause damage at any moment if their emotions take them that way. In that way, I feel like Elsa.
She seems to get a happy ending. I don't know whether I will or not in this life. But what I can be thankful for is the happy ending written for me by God, where, thanks to Jesus' death and resurrection, I have been saved from death and offered eternal life with him. Because of Jesus, I can see Revelation 21:4 as part of my happy ending (can it be called an ending if it never ends?!):
'He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’
